by Casey and Meygan Caston, founders of Marriage 365
The best thing about being married is that I get to do life with my best friend!
We talk late into the night, play card games, retell stories of life when we were first married, and talk about our highs and lows from the day. We love trying new places to eat, taking fitness classes and working out together, dreaming about our future. We talk about how cute our kids are, share how we feel about, well, just about everything, and try to put in a good word about something that we love about each other. We are best friends and this relationship is our place of safety in a chaotic world, a place to find rest and security and comfort.
At the heart of every great marriage is friendship.
John Gottman did a seminal research project on marriage in the Marriage Lab at the University of Washington. His team spent over 30 years studying marriages with a scientific approach. His key discovery was that the core ingredient of a successful marriage is… friendship!
These are people that not only love each other… they like each other!
How would you rate your friendship with your spouse at this time? If you feel like your spouse is more of a roommate, then its time to start dating your mate again. Start with retelling how you first met. What was it that turned you on, what attracted you to each other. Did you journal about this, read it… read it to your spouse. What are your shared dreams and visions for the future?
Here’s some ideas to get you started:
Play a game– cards games and board games can bring needed laughter to your relationship… winner gets a foot massage!
Take up a new hobby– do something new that you’re both excited about.
Try working out together– those that sweat together stay together.
Take our Marriage365 walk challenge— go on a walkie-talkie!
Play hooky– call in sick and make plans to escape for the day together
Find practical ways to cultivate that friendship you once had!
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