Honour in the City

There are times when we may well be displeased with decisions and/or processes associated with civic authorities. In Australia, it can at times be like a national pastime to 'have a go' at those who represent the establishment. Yet the Bible teaches that we are "to render to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due...fear to whom fear, honour to whom honour." (Rom.13:7)

 Peter writes that we are to "honour all people...fear God. Honour the king." (1 Peter 2:17) When we consider that the king that Peter was probably referring to was Herod Agrippa, we can be forgiven for questioning how it would be possible to honour such a bad king. Agrippa had ordered the execution of James and was after Peter's life as well! Yet Peter exhorts the church to honour the king. In Acts 12, we observe how the early church prayed for Peter's welfare. One thing that they did not do was to curse the authorities that were over them. In fact they did not judge the authorities as wicked as they were. Instead they they made room for God to move. This is what grace will do. When we pray but refuse to judge, we are making room for God to move. Yes, Peter was released from prison and Agrippa was judged but by God. When the church honour the civic authorities, it makes room for divine intervention to happen.

Interestingly the Biblical examples of honouring authorities were in the context of handling either bad rulers or being captive to those authorities. Nehemiah was one such example. Whilst serving Artaxerxes as a trusted confidante, he was given favour to return to Jerusalem to oversight the rebuilding of the walls and the city gates. Nehemiah led the charge , not against authorities but by assuming responsibility for what the Jews has failed to do. He repented for the state of his people. In so doing it was as if he made room for God to move. The king's heart was softened and favour was given to Nehemiah. The believer makes room when he recognises the finished work of Christ. Grace will be at work when we let Him work as opposed to us making judgements against leaders. Jesus never rebelled against the Roman authorities even though certain parties suggested insurrection. He even paid his taxes and on one occasion paid taxes for his disciples as well.

There are times when civil disobedience may occur such as when people are asked to commit evil acts. Moses' mother disobeyed Pharaoh's order to drown her baby son. Obadiah hid 100 prophets from Queen Jezebel who ordered their execution. When believers are told not to speak the name of Jesus and/or are commanded to worship other gods, there is Biblical precedence to refuse to obey. (Acts 4:19; Rev.13:15) By the way in our increasingly politically correct culture, you can always ask someone to tell their story and then you may well earn the right to tell your story or should I say His story.






This blog is based on a message given by Ross Smith at The Vine church, Logan City, Queensland, Australia on Sunday 21st August. The full message can be accessed by podcast from www.thevine.org.au/teaching.

Honour in the Workplace

A vital key to healthy relationships is the practice of honour between people - at home, at work and in our local community. Honour is the expression of esteem or value that we place upon something or someone. Sadly we often value things more than we do people.

When we know that God is the source of our well being, we will learn to honour people. When we know that God is with us, we will begin to experience favour. The story of Joseph in Genesis is the story of a man who knew God's favour in the midst of circumstances that seemed to be against him. Yet the Bible says that "the Lord was with Joseph and he was a successful man..." (Gen.39:2) The reason the believer has favour is because God is with him. A long as Joseph was serving in Potiphar's household, the whole household was favoured. Even when he was in prison, he was favoured. Where you work, you can become a vessel of amazing favour. Favour is not about what you do; it is about who is with you!

When you know that your validation comes from and through Christ, you can expect to do well in your place of work. You will be able to serve and work with a sweet attitude as you honour your co-workers and your boss. 1 Tim.6:1 says "let as many as are servants...count their masters worthy of all honour..." We serve with honour when we simply ask ourselves the question, "what can I do to serve you in this place." By the way serving others is proof that our Master is Jesus. We can serve others but in serving others, others are not our master. Only Jesus is the Master. But we serve as if we serve Him.

Honour in the workplace will always uphold integrity. When Mrs Potiphar tried to seduce Joseph, Joseph declared that he would never betray the trust that he had been given by his master. He said, "how can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" Joseph refused to compromise his own integrity. He paid a price for this because he was falsely accused of rape and was duly imprisoned. Yet the expression of integrity 'in the workplace' opened up doors for his future that he could never imagine possible. "The integrity of the upright shall guide them" (Prov.11:3)

If your boss is treating you unfairly it is best to act and not react. We can act by 'going the extra mile'. Again the principle is that we "serve them sincerely as you would Christ." (Eph.6:5) I have discovered that if favour doesn't begin to happen in the workplace then God will begin to open another door. The work place is your patch. Because you carry His Presence you have authority in the workplace. This has nothing to do with what you do but has everything to do with who you are in Christ!






This blog is based on a message given by Ross Smith at The Vine church, Springwood, Logan City, Queensland, Australia on Sun. 14th August 2016. The full message can be accessed by podcast from www.thevine.org.au/teaching

Coaching Friendship

Imagine a parent of a child you know approaching you.

“Can (insert their child’s name) and I speak with you and (insert your child’s name) privately for a minute?”

Maybe this kind of “confrontational” conversation raises your blood pressure? I know it raises mine.

Thoughts spiral and I become anxious:

“What did my child do?”
“How will it affect them?”
“How will it affect me?”

But what if situations like this are the perfect opportunity for us to give something very valuable to our children?

What if the temporary discomfort of having a friendship conversation could lead to a lifelong ability to navigate relationships in a healthy way?

Instead of simply mediating conflict, or avoiding it, we have a chance to coach our kids in lessons of love.

My daughter Mya is all about “friendship benches”—she wrote about it in Kindergarten. She thinks every place should have one. It’s somewhere you can feel “chunterbole” (comfortable) and you don’t have to worry. There’s even a “sign on it so you know it’s there.”

As a parent, you have the opportunity to help your kids sort out their friendships by offering this kind of place where their feelings can be felt, shared. You can be a friendship coach.

So, how do you coach someone you love when they have been hurt or have hurt someone else? What do you say when there is a recurring issue that doesn’t seem to have a solution or resolve? What do you do when the “thing” that happens keeps happening?

The temptation is to remove your child from the situation.

But if instead, you coach your child through the situation, they will learn how to navigate through difficult relational experiences and develop lasting friendships.

If we were looking at a map made by pirates (don’t we always?) you would see on the margins phrases like “Here Be Dragons!” describing the places outside an intended route. It’s a place outside of the comfort zone, the place where danger waits.

Our kids are going to face some friendship dragons, but there’s nothing outside of the comfort zone that you can’t walk through together. You know they’re there, you can warn your kids about them, but there’s also a way through it. You have a developmental map that they don’t have yet and as a parent, you can help them navigate.

Here are a few ways to be a great friendship coach to your kids.

Depending on the phase your child is in, these ideas can become simpler or more complex.

Coach your kid to . . .

• Accept input and open criticism from a friend
  • They don’t have to agree with the situation but be willing to listen and receive new information.
• Be generous with grace and forgiveness. Don’t hold grudges.
  • Have them describe what the other person might be feeling
  • Share some of your own failures together
  • Recount times when someone extended grace to them
• Encourage and comfort, and be open to the comfort of others
  • Make a list of compliments that are sincere
  • Help them learn the value of a well-timed joke (for older kids)
  • Show them what appropriate touch looks like and feels like (hand to shoulder when saying I’m sorry, a hug, a handshake)

As you coach your kid or teenager, the key is being able to have empathy that doesn’t lead to self-protecting entanglement. Healthy empathy creates an environment where advice and coaching can be trusted. When they can look to you and see you listening, and when your body language shows them you’re safe and that you’re open to different solutions, they will trust you.

Let the relational bumps in the road be times and places for your child to grow the ability to love others as they love themselves. It will take time, intentionality, patience, and probably more coffee than you can make in one pot.

But one day, you might wake up to a child telling you that they are working through something with a friend and they have navigated to a place of healing and truth.

And that, my friends, is the win.

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Single and in Marriage Ministry

by Jessica Asbell

I am currently leading the charge in helping our families strengthen their marriages by using the MarriedPeople strategy.
I am actually the Children’s Minister at my church.
And I have never been married.
So it might seem odd that I’m the one implementing the MarriedPeople strategy.

But, I am a child of divorce. My parents divorced when I was very small. My mother married my stepfather when I was six, but they divorced when I was twelve. So I know the pain and the issues with trust that come from being a child of divorce.

So when Ted Lowe and Doug Fields spoke about the MarriedPeople strategy and their book, Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last, at the Orange Conference in 2014, it resonated with me. They talked about how the best thing you can do for the children in your ministry is to help keep their parents’ marriages together. This statement may not seem earthshattering, but it blew me away.

As the Children’s Minister, I could actually do something to help the kids in my ministry not have to go through the anger and pain I experienced. So I bought their book and excitedly brought it to our Minister to Young Families. He liked the idea, but it wasn’t the right time.

This year he became our Senior Pastor. I brought up the idea again, and we began implementing the strategy. So far we have partnered the date nights with our Parents’ Night Out, had our first large group event, and done our first small group study.

I’ve heard stories of funny nicknames that were revealed in the large group, and that one couple who’s with each other 24/7 actually didn’t get any of the questions right in their Not So Newlywed game!

Our couples have responded very well to these events and they are having a blast with it. Is it awkward for me that I’m single and doing a marriage strategy? Sometimes.

There are times when I’m not sure where I fit with this: Should I be at the event even though I’m not the target audience, or should I be with the children—since I am the Children’s Minister? But in the end, it’s totally worth it.

Ministry to Children involves their families as well. And if I can help their parents’ marriage, then I am a better minister to those precious kiddos.

 

Jessica Asbell in the Children’s Minster at First Baptist Church Roswell in Roswell, GA.

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Helping Kids Navigate Through Crisis

Kara Powell, PhD, co-author of the Right Click: Parenting Your Teenager In A Digital Media World and executive director of Fuller Youth Institute, joins Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy to talk about how to identify the signs your child is struggling and how to respond in an appropriate way. The future of your kids is related to how you help them navigate through crisis.

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