7 Things We Learned from Leaders in 2015

by Ted Lowe

We started MarriedPeople in 2010. Our goal then was the same as it is now—to help churches help marriages. It’s a goal that we know we can’t reach solely on on our own, and why we have always talked to and learned from church leaders.

But the conversations we are having now are much different from the ones we had in the beginning . . . in a really good way.

In the beginning, leaders began conversations with us with comments like:
“I’m really passionate about helping married couples, but I have no idea where to start.”
“Married couples need help, but I’m not sure I’m the right person to lead them.”

Fast forward to now, and leaders are still passionate about helping couples, but they begin conversations excited about how they have customized the MarriedPeople strategy to fit their context.

My prayer for MarriedPeople church leaders in 2016 is for leaders to trust themselves, and that is exactly what they are doing. Here are 7 things we have learned from so many amazing, creative leaders.

1. Leadership REALLY matters.
   Meeting individually with a core group of couples, casting vision, getting “buy-in” from them, asking them to attend and inviting others to events goes a long way in making your marriage strategy successful. Leaders have taught us that not every couple has to do everything. For example, advocate couples are not necessarily “on the team” as far as planning and set-up, but they play an important role in inviting and drawing people to events.
2. Childcare needs to be addressed.
   For many married couples, lack of childcare is a deal killer. Childcare keeps many couples from attending your marriage events, small groups or going out on date nights. Leaders have taught us to think outside the box. One church encourages couples in small groups to trade off being baby sitters for date nights. Another church provides childcare at the church, where the majority of their volunteers are student leaders from the high school ministry.
3. Multi-generational events work.
   Many couples are put into church environments with people in their same life stage. While this can be helpful, leaders have shared with us time and time again that younger and older couples love spending time with and learning from each other.
4. Social media is key to promoting your marriage strategy.
   Some people love social media, i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Some people hate social media, but make no mistake about it, many people use it and depend on it. People are online and on their phones. It is important married people find you and hear from you online and through social media. Social media is not only a great place to provide details about your marriage strategy; it gives individual couples a place to share their questions and success stories. Social media makes it personal.
5. Couples love a photo booth.
   Photo booths can be elaborate or simple. One MarriedPeople church had a fishing theme. For their photo booth they brought in a rowboat for couples to sit in to get their pictures made. But photo booths can be as simple as taking pictures in front of an attractive area of your church. Or you can do what so many churches are doing by simply handing couples a large frame and goofy props like big glasses, hats and boas to use in their photo.
6. MarriedPeople resources are different. 
   At the risk of sounding self-promoting, we have worked really hard from a strategic, creative and even technical standpoint to make our resources customizable to the individual needs of your church. This year leaders have let us know emphatically that is what they want. So that is what we will keep doing.
7. Church leaders are lonely.
   So often church leaders feel like they are the only ones who care for the marriages in their churches. While this is obviously not true, people’s actions often communicate otherwise. For instance, we talked to one leader who said her event went great, but no other leadership members attended. Even in really large churches, marriage ministry can be minimized leaving leaders feeling alone. That is why we created the MarriedPeople Leaders Facebook group. There you can connect with the MarriedPeople team, but even more importantly, other church leaders who believe that one of the most important things a church can do for kids and teenagers is to help marriages that impact their lives.

Let’s keep learning together people. What have you learned this year? Go to MarriedPeople Leaders Facebook group and let us know.

 

Ted Lowe is the Director of MarriedPeople, and the co-author of Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last. Follow Ted on Twitter @tedlowe.

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