Practice Your Promise: For Better or Worse

What to Do When You’re Not the Best Version of Yourself

by Ted Lowe

I recently heard a podcast with Andy Stanley and he encouraged leaders to ask themselves this simple question whenever they face a challenging situation:

What would a great leader do?

Because I focus on marriage and family every day, I instantly thought, “We should do that as spouses”—especially when we are not the best version of ourselves. We should ask:

What would a great husband/wife do?

Come on, let’s be honest. We can become so comfortable with our spouse that it’s easy to simply do what comes natural—especially after a tough day of keeping it all together. It feels good to come home, let go and say what we want to say and act how we want to act.

And despite the fact our spouse promised for better or for worse, we need to give them much more better than worse. Even when, especially when, we simply do not feel like it. After all, isn’t that what you are hoping your spouse will do for you? Of course it is! So let’s play around with this thing for 48 hours. For the next 48 hours ask yourself:

What would a great spouse do?

Here are some examples to get you thinking:

• It’s your spouse’s turn to put the kids to bed. You are exhausted, but so is your spouse. What would a great spouse do? Put the kids to bed. You say to your spouse, “You relax baby. I got this.” But make sure when they pass out, their head lands on something soft.
• Your spouse is late . . . again. What would a great spouse do? Not say anything. Say, “I love you,” and kiss them like you mean it. But make sure you have your driver’s license nearby if they don’t believe it’s you.
• Your spouse is frustrated about something at work and seems to be taking it out on you. What would a great spouse do? Put down the phone and say, “What happened?” Listen carefully and validate that things are difficult. But make sure you have a breathalyzer in case they think you are intoxicated.

Asking what a great spouse what do, especially when you are not the best version of yourself, helps you rise to the occasion. If you are thinking,“Why me? They wouldn’t do the same.” I’m not writing to your spouse silly. I’m writing to you.

Okay . . . here we go. 48 hours of asking:
What would a great spouse do?
Let us know what happens.

 

 

Ted Lowe is the Director of MarriedPeople, and the co-author of Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last. Follow Ted on Twitter @tedlowe. If you’d like to learn more about Marriage Ministry, check out [link] Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last.

 

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