I was hanging out with a friend recently working on what he and I believe is a really important ministry initiative. We both believe it could change lives in powerful ways.
But as our meeting moved on he got a text from his wife. Then another. He stepped out to take a call from her. He came back to our meeting and announced to me and the other leader that he needed to go home.
Naturally, we said that was great and he went home to simply be a husband and a dad for a few hours before coming back to the project we were working on a few hours later.
Then it hit me: our work doesn’t really impress our wives.
Don’t get me wrong. His wife (and mine) love the ministries we’re involved in. They pray, support, give and care passionately about it.
But there’s something deeper at work here. I have spent too many years coming home hoping to impress my wife with what I have accomplished. She’s always excited to hear about it. She’s genuinely excited for it.
But as a guy, I’m tempted to settle for her just being proud of me, as though that was the purpose of our marriage. There needs to come a point for those of us who love what we do and think about it 24/7 to put it all aside and do what God has called us to do: be there, love her, love the kids and be available.
For a guy, there isn’t the immediate reward in those things that we might find in an increase in ministry, in solving a personnel issue or preaching a message that people can’t stop talking about. It’s more difficult to sit on the couch and be fully present. But in the long run, it’s so much more rewarding. To miss at home while hitting home runs at work is to ultimately miss what matters most.
As a husband, I have to remind myself that my wife isn’t nearly as impressed with my work as I might be.
And that’s actually a good thing.
Carey Nieuwhof is the lead pastor of Connexus Community Church, a growing multicampus church north of Toronto and strategic partner of North Point Community Church. Prior to starting Connexus in 2007, Carey served for 12 years in a mainline church, transitioning three small congregations into a single, rapidly growing church.
He speaks to North American and global church leaders about leadership, change and personal growth. Carey is the author of “Leading Change Without Losing It” and co-authored “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” with Reggie Joiner. He and his wife Toni live near Barrie, Ontario and have two sons, Jordan and Sam. He blogs at http://ift.tt/1bdw8GN and hosts the top-rated Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast every week.
Reposted with permission.
from MarriedPeople Couples http://ift.tt/1SeUjZy
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment