by Amanda Maguire
This is the first school year that all three of our kids are in school ALLLLLLLLL day! Hooray!! It felt as if this day would never come. It did! So bring on some SERIOUS FUN!!
My husband being a pastor doesn’t have the weekends off like most dads, so Mondays are his day of rest and play.
Now that the kids are in school all day, we have a good chunk of time on Mondays to go to the beach (we live in California), go to Disneyland, take walks, bike rides, go to movies, run around the house naked, frolic in the meadow, or even just snuggle in front of the fireplace. Fun city all day long!
However, since September our serious day of fun has looked more like, grocery shopping, Target runs, fixing bathrooms, taking care of a sick kid, yard work, house work, car work . . . and all with our clothes ON! After 16 years of marriage we are face to face with the fact that maybe we don’t remember how to have serious fun together.
We clearly are still on the learning track on this fun business, but have had some great marriage breakthroughs as we push through this season. There are two things that have helped us get on the right road to fun.
#1 Get out of the house. I’ve learned that we have to get out of the house to have some serious fun. We both have to be away from all the distractions that can all get done at a different time.
As a mom, it’s hard to turn off my brain around the house. Sometimes stuff just has to get done, am I right? But what we are finding is that serious fun is serious business.
When Jeff and I place value on our fun time together, we laugh and connect and remember how much we like each other. We are better for each other and our kids. My kids love to hear about our date day and what we did together. I know it gives them a sense of security and comfort knowing that dad and I really love each other and like being around each other. I also believe it sets an example for them on what they should expect from their future spouse.
So when something comes up during our fun time it is worth it to keep it sacred. I have to let it go, plan for that thing to get done on a different day during a different time. It’s also good to be away so that we are different for other people to get ahold of us so that we can be alone. We love our friends and family dearly but we can’t connect and talk the same way with each other when other people are around.
#2 Accountability. I have a safe group of women that I meet with weekly and we keep each other accountable in marriage. Each week I know I am going to have to answer four questions about my marriage and they will be all up in my grill (in the most loving way) if these things in my marriage are neglected.
1. When is the last time you had sex with your husband?
2. When is the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your husband?
3. When is the last time you laughed with your husband?
4. When is the last time you had fun with your husband?
There really is a recipe for a good marriage and a recipe for disaster in a marriage. If any of these things—including serious fun—is neglected, apathy, resentment, feelings of worthlessness and loneliness can set in. And your husband or wife may begin to search for what’s missing somewhere else. It’s time to take fun serious. I challenge you to ask yourself those four questions honestly and weekly.
Don’t miss the fun! Fight for fun—it’s serious business.
Amanda Maguire has been married to a youth pastor for 12 years and now the lead pastor of a church for the past 3 years. (It’s the same guy!) They are raising a family with three kids. Amanda is passionate about being a part of the divorce rate going down in her community and the happy healthy rate of marriages going up!
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